Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
