we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
