We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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