How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
