I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
