He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
