I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
