Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
