he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
