i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
