we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
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