This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Randomize
