So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
