i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
