Barsexuality is the new black.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize