i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
