when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
