My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
