We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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