the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Randomize
