You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I am available for nakedness
I am mentally ready for anal.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
