OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
