I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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