he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Randomize
