Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
