you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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