My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
