I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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