I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
All I want is dick and wine.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
