Me. At least after what I've been through.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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