we have officially mastered the walk of shame
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
