You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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