Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
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