the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
So much rum. So many feels.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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