Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize