yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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