Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
