I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
