Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
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