Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize