I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
You pole danced in your parka.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
