He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
