This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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