Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
