i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
