Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
We left an ass print on the piano.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
