Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
