And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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