We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
