so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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