she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
We had sex on a dog bed..
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
