sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Randomize
