i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I would ride that face into the sunset
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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