I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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