I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Dicks are not precious.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
