I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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