Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
