This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize