Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
They are going to name an STD after you.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
