So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
