I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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