Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
