he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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