sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
