Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I'm gonna have a badass scar
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
