Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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