But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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