break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
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