So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
